CUYLER

3 things they better have in mexico!

2010-06-29T13:08:00.002-06:00

so I've been thinking...(uh-oh)

Mexico is kinda a foreign country... and if I'm going to survive there are three things i cant live with out...

1. chap stick: man you got to love the stuff nothing better that that nice soothing cream specially formulated to make your lips feel delightful... the true Aggie chap stick from Utah state is the best but i am almost positive that wont be in Mexico... but hopefully they have some good flavors like strawberry or cherry... or maybe habanero!

2. Charmin Ultra Strong toilet paper: I'm not even going to say anything about this except its the best... and it sure beats using unknown plants... especially when that unknown plant is poison Ivy.

3. And here is the biggy.... Oreos: yeah i know you could have guessed that that was coming but seriously they are the greatest... they are Americas favorite cookie for goodness sake... the only question is... are the Mexico's favorite cookie? or do the even have them in Mexico?

the thought of me going with out any one of these three things for two years truly is scary... hopefully i can just man up and take the heat... well no hopefully they just have them in Mexico!

gee thanks

2010-06-09T14:06:00.003-06:00

so its been a while but nothing good has happened until yesterday

my brother josh and his wife sarah and his two boys elijah and sam were visiting from Maryland and it was going to be the last time i would see them for TWO YEARS... wow the goodbyes have already started,

so as i am saying good bye i give them all hugs and the last one i hug is my 5 year old nephew elijah, and sarah explains to the boys that it will be the last time they see me for a long long time... when she finishes saying this elijah says

"Thats okay i like Dallin better than Cuyler anyway."

wow are you kidding me elijah who says something like that

you know what i think about that elijah...

"Thats okay i like sam better than i like elijah anyway."

haha just kidding... i love you elijah thanks for a good laugh!

Things I learned in my first year of "real" School

2010-05-07T13:48:00.003-06:00

So my grades are in, and i am officially done with my first year of SLCC.

here are the top ten most valuable things i learned

1. Paying for credits is way better than paying for an education.

2. The creepy old high school history teachers just get more creepy and old in collage.

3. Even though i pride myself in being a band geek, the band geek stereotype, is pretty true... all you have to do is meet my into to music professor.

4. You might think that your finance professor would know what he is talking about, but if he tells you to invest in GE stock, don't believe him.

5. Any classes you can take that you NEVER have to do the reading assignments and you can still get an A... are defiantly the best classes to take (but lets be honest, 95% of classes at SLCC are that way)

6. People that are for gay rights claim that there is nothing wrong with being gay... but if you call them gay they get really offended... explain that one.

7. Institute is great.

8. Oreos ARE Americas favorite cookie.

9. Some religions believe some pretty crazy stuff, but so does mine... the only difference is, mine is right.

10. There is a reason they call SLCC "Redwood High" another fitting name would be "Redwood Elementary."

SLUGGIES

2010-04-21T10:43:00.004-06:00

ALRIGHT!!! its rant time

so yesterday i was at work and this girl came in and she was freken UGLY!!! like ugly to the twelve degree... any who, not only was she ugly but she was dressed in super immodest clothes.

now there are all kinds of words i could use to describe immodest girls, but most of them people would find offencive. so for toady's purposes i will just call them, sluggies.(i have no idea if that is a real word, or what it means if it is.)

anywho it got me thinking...

like 95 percent of sluggies are frecken ugly, not just kinda ugly, but frecken ugly, and i thought, what is it that makes a girl look in the mirror and think, "wow, I'm fetchen ugly, maybe if i dress with more of my ugly skin showing, and i show off more of my ugly body, i wont be so ugly any more." so lets see showing more of your ugly self make you less ugly... hmmm... that's sound logic.

now for the five percent of sluggies that were cute before they became sluggies... what makes them look at another sluggie and think, "wow that girl is the freaken ugly... i should dress like her..." come on people, cute girls dressing like ugly girls does not make the fashions cute... nope... they just make the cute girl, not so attractive anymore...

now i know that there are some guys out there that do not agree with me, to them i say, "get some fetchen taste in girls, you vial pigs!"

and there are some girls that like the attention they get from guys when they dress like sluggies, to them i say, "get some fetchen taste in guys, you know guys that think your cute because you are and not because you dress like a friggen sluggy!!!"

dressing like a sluggy is like smoking, you might think that you look cool and hip for a second but really it just makes you look stupid and ugly, and immature.

so all you girls out there, before go shopping for your new summer clothes, remember the point is to dress cute, not ugly... and if you already have gone shopping and your new shirt is a sluggy shirt go back to the store and demand the rest of your shirt back!!! because I'm sure they only gave you half of it.

now people tell me what you think of this subject. i like it when people tell me I'm right so leave those comments... and if you disagree with me leave a comment too, but realize that if you openly disagree, you are also openly admitting that you are a FREAKING SICKO!!!

habanaro

2010-04-15T12:20:00.004-06:00

here is the movie tis pretty awesome, and when i say awesome i mean really dumb

here is the story...

so the other day at maceys a guy i work with and i were looking at the produce dept. we came up to the habaneros peppers and he's like ill give you twenty bucks if you eat a whole one... I'm like are you kidding me twenty buck... i couldn't turn that down.

so he chose the biggest habanero that I have ever seen, it was like an inch and a half long, it was a mean looking pepper.

so i went and got some milk and bread and then i started the challenge... i got my twenty bucks, but man was it HOT!!! i couldn't stop shaking for like twenty minutes after i ate it...

what people don't tell you about eating habaneros is that it is a three act play, the first act is eating it, the second is the stomach ache(its weird you can fill it burning all the way through your digestive system), but the third act is by far the worst, the climax of the whole thing... the third act was BAD!!!

After all is said and done, i would defiantly do it again!!!

Oreo: Behold the Epicness

2010-04-08T12:33:00.008-06:00

ALL RIGHT!!! The moment you have all been waiting for(when i say you all i really mean me)

I finished my Oreo Essay of Awesomeness... only at SLCC could you get away with writing a Argument essay on something so pointless.

And every body else in my class did theirs on boring stuff... like gay marriage and obeise people... which make it that much better

So here it is (even though nobody, including me, really wants to read it.)

OREO

America’s Favorite Cookie

“The first one was a sweet one, second one was a blast. Soon I finished off the bag, ate 'em up

real fast. You can see 'em in my teeth, tell it when I talk, had so many, my pancreas just went into

shock.” That is how “Weird Al” Yankovic describes his feelings about his favorite cookie, the

Oreo. Even though no one has proven that Oreos are America’s favorite cookie, there are reasons

to believe that Nabisco’s claim is true; Oreos are the most sold cookie in American grocery stores,

and they are, America’s favorite cookie because Americans prefer Oreos two-to-one over chips

ahoy, but mostly, they are the most fun and delicious cookie in all of this great land of America.

Recently Nabisco changed their claim from “Americas favorite cookie,” to “Milks favorite cookie.”

Why did they back down from the campaign? Only Nabisco knows, but it sounds like they were

proven wrong. The biggest problem with crowning Americas favorite cookie is that you have to

determine what you mean by favorite. When we ask what the favorite cookie is it is important to

clarify if we mean the best selling cookie, or personal tastes of Americans. Today I will explore

both of these questions.

In a study by the New York Times, Girl Scouts sell almost as many Girl Scout Cookies in three

months as the total amount of Oreos, Nabisco sells in a whole year. When you realize that they

are comparing all twenty-eight varieties of Girl Scout Cookies to one variety of Oreo, that story

begins to fall apart. The same information could be used to say that Nabisco sells more Original

Oreos in one year than Girl Scouts sell of Thin Mints, Samoas, Tagalongs, and all other Girl Scout

Cookies combined.

Maceys, a local grocery store, had $7,319.56 in Oreo sales last year. In comparison, E.L. Fudge,

another sandwich cookie made by Keebler, sold $6,146.59, a very distant second place.

Another problem with crowning Americas favorite cookie is that it would be nearly impossible to

ask every American what their favorite cookie is. By asking several random people if they prefer

Oreos, then we can get a good general sense of how the rest of America feels on the topic.

I personally have done a survey of Nabisco two best selling cookies, Chips Ahoy and Oreos. I

went to the mall and stopped as many people as I could find, had them taste one of each cookie

and then asked which one they thought was best. Oreos were clearly the winner. I discovered in

my quest that Oreos are preferred two to one over another American favorite Chips Ahoy.

So what is it that make an Oreo so delicious? The contrast and balance between white creamy

goodness and the crunchy chocolate cookie is a beautiful thing, kind of like Yin and Yang, Up and

Down, Spock and Kirk, or Mother and Father, they complete each other. In todays world it also

symbolizes a perfect blend of Black and White.

Most people would agree that there is not any thing better that an Oreo cookie dunked and

soaked in milk. Just like the cream and the cookie, an Oreo and a cold glass of milk complete

each other, as the milk makes the cookie soft and perfect for the mouth. The Oreo gives just

enough flavor to the milk, to make the milk, what most believe to be one of the greatest

substances ever.

Another reason Oreos are Americas favorite cookie, is that Oreos are Americas most entertaining

cookie ever. Brian Krenzer, an American from New York City, explains, “You know, the best thing

to do on road trips is eat an Oreo, then smear it in your teeth, and smile at people...really gets a

reaction.” Now if a road trip with Oreos is not an American favorite, I do not know what is. Another

favorite thing to do, is to buy a bunch of Oreos pull off one of the cookie sides and plaster them all

over a good friends car. You can never get bored when you have an Oreo in you hand because

there are so many different ways to eat them, you can twist, dunk, or just eat it plain, some people

like to twist then dunk. I like to put as many as I can in to my glass of milk and let them soak as

long as I can wait before I cannot wait any more and have to eat them all.

Now you can see that even though nobody has done all the research necessary to prove it, Oreos

are Americas favorite cookie, because they sell more, and are preferred more, but mostly

because they are just so darn delicious. Just like “Weird Al” you will eat them up real fast. Now go

out and buy yourself a package of America’s Favorite Cookies!

Yes, i do realize that the quality of this blog is steadily going down hill, i mean really who posts homework assignment for the world to see

Yay for old ladies

2010-04-02T10:26:00.002-06:00

So yesterday i was at work, surprise surprise, anywho, i got this call

"Grocery you have a phone call on line 1."

oh great... so i answer it and this old lady is on the phone, this is what she said...

"oh yes can you tell me if you have a Easter candy?"

me-"yeah what are you looking for"

her-"well...it a Hershey's chocolate egg... milk chocolate... and their in a little blue bag, with a window on it so you can see the milk chocolate eggs... and they have a sugar coating on them, kind of like mini cadbury eggs, you know the little ones that come in a pack, and they are pastel in color... but they are not cadbury they are Hershey's milk chocolate, and they are pastel in color too... and they are so good... but i just cant find them anywhere, and they are Hershey's milk chocolate eggs... oh and can you tell me the price too???"

okay so you have to remember that this is like a ninety year old lady and she only speaks like 4 words a minute.... and she has to stop for like five seconds at the end of every phrase... so it took her like five minutes to say explain these Hershey's milk chocolate eggs...

couldn't she just get on and ask,"do you have Hershey milk chocolate eggs like the mini cadbury eggs?"

any who, we didn't have them so i got back on the phone and told her we didn't have any and in the awesome little old lady voice we all love she says, "oh Darn, i guess ill try somewhere else then."

isn't darn a swear word to little old ladies

mexico flag

2010-03-24T11:48:00.002-06:00

So when my mom found out that I was going to Mexico City on my mission, she promptly went out to buy a Mexican flag to fly out side of our house.

after about a week of the flag being out side, we got a knock on our door... i answered the door and this little Mexican lady is standing on out porch... with a really confused look on her face (i don't think she was expecting a white kid to open the door)

she looked at me and this was our conversation

her: "you speak Spanish, no?"

me: "uhhhhh.... nope."

"oh, sorry, sorry,"

"...."

"I saw flag" (pointing at the Mexican flag)

"oh"(trying as hard as i can not to bust a gut)

"here." as she handed me a business card

"um... thanks... bye"

i shut the door and thought, well that was weird...

then i looked at the card and it read,

"Cinderella's of God

cleaning services

contact (some name and number with their name crossed out)

Brisa 638.02.00"

um... is that even a legitimate phone number?

hmmmmmmmmmm...

2010-03-23T15:47:00.001-06:00

so Brain... what are we going to do tomorow now that our health care bill passed???

Same thing we do every day... Try to take over the world!!!

Bwahahahaha

new post

2009-12-31T12:11:00.000-07:00

haha im actually posting here...
haha and nobodies going to read it
hehe

hair

2009-10-14T18:10:00.002-06:00

so my parent went out of town for the weekend and took the camera so i couldn't update you all on shrek sorry but there back now so here's your update

...

...

well never mind my computer isn't uploading the pictures... oh well ill just describe it to you Shrek has hair and lots of it

(P.S. shreks hair, doesnt taste good!)

green things

2009-10-07T12:29:00.004-06:00

to my four friends in the world...:)

here is the update on shrek

i dont know if you can tell but... that is green stuff on the brown shrek(not to be racist)

:(

2009-10-05T11:41:00.003-06:00

its official.

nobody ever looks at my blog of awesomeness:(

sorry if you are one of the few people that do read this just leave a comment to tell me you still do and i will still consider us friends

don't worry i will still continue to post things even if i am the only one that ever reads them.

sprouts

2009-10-05T11:38:00.002-06:00

shrek is sprouting... how exciting

my little baby is getting so BIG!!!

Shrek II

2009-09-30T14:20:00.005-06:00

This is so exciting Ive always wanted to do something totally tacky, i especially always wanted a chia pet. this is todays update...

i gave shrek the seeds he always wanted...

i bet you all wish you had a shrek chia pet

Balloon pop

2009-09-30T14:12:00.003-06:00

okay world check this out this is awesome. there was a balloon in the back room of maceys the other day so i decided to see if i could throw my box cutter and pop it. i don't think anybody really knows how hard this is because you have to throw it with a spin so just the right so just the blade will hit the balloon but i did it check this out...

some times i amaze myself... sorry the quality's not great(not that the quality of anything on this blog is great) but it was filmed on my phone

Shrek I

2009-09-29T12:51:00.004-06:00

hello world

today i started a chia pet meet shrek

yes shrek is my chia pet and this is him strait out of the box

and this is him being water boarded so he can know that i am the boss

tomorrow i will put seeds on him and i will give you all daily updates on how shrek is doing

Ten things I've learned from working at Maceys

2009-09-25T13:02:00.005-06:00

1. If a manager tells you to do something... you can usually find a different Manager that will tell you not to.

2. 95% of work done in the United States goes unappreciated.

3. Get some kind of education... you don't want to be 60 and still only get paid 10 bucks a hour because you're a grocery stocker.

4. People in management positions are usually to lazy or to unintelligent to do any thing. (unless you consider siting on the toilet for a hour and a half productive)

5. Old ladies really like their Lean Cuisine.

6. People are stupid... deal with it!

7. If a manager tells you to do something... its probably because they are to lazy to do it themselves.

8. Old men really like their prune juice.

9. Never trust Maceys fried chicken... trust me once this one guy got it on break and he spontaneously combusted... it not worth the mess.

10. If you're ever at the store and some one offers you a beer for ten dollars... don't do it ten dollars is way to much for a beer.

(No offence to my dear brother-in-law Craig who is a manager at Dans. first he doesn't work at Maceys and second i am talking about managers in general not by any means all of them)

2009-09-21T12:00:00.005-06:00

so the other day i got some sweet new clothes... a hat with cookie monster on it, a shirt with cookie monster on it, and according to my dad some wild plaid pants... any who there pretty awesome

i wore them to my grandmas house and she thought they were so great she started freaking out and laughing as soon as i got out of the car... she also got Gramdpa to take a picture of me, a honor usually reserved for the great grand children... yeah i was feeling pretty good

i also won the approval of my cousins wife for my new cookie monster gang

any who i wore my new outfit to school today and got some pretty awesome reactions, i was told that "it was the coolest because cookie monster is every ones childhood hero" and i was also told that "i rocked the gangsta look with style."

along with the comments i receive fair amount of funny looks and puzzled faces... its amazing how many double takes you get when your dressed like a total dweeb.

Ahoy

2009-09-17T17:34:00.004-06:00

Ahoy mateys

Ergh just thought id Lit ye'all know that National Talk Like a Pirate Day is this saturdey

so ye best jump aboard and get ye best pirate voices ready and ye best pirate joke like

Question."whats a pirates favorite letter"

Guess. "RRR"

Answer. "no Q"

argh that be a good one mateys.

ye best get ready or ye'll be walkin' the plank real quick

(p.s. all you people out there that think that Mr. Clark at Jordan is the only person in the world that would think to celebrate National Talk Like a Pirate Day... your all wrong he got the idea from ME!)

life is awesome

2009-09-17T12:40:00.004-06:00

so the other day i was sitting there watching my niece Kendell play and i sat there and thought to my self...

LIFE IS AWESOME

yeah kinda like that

Camping? What camping?

2009-09-12T11:49:00.004-06:00

So today I got back from our wards annual fathers and sons camp. This year it was up at the church girls camp(ha ha that's pretty ironic that they would have the fathers and sons at a girls camp) any who this was not a camp.

First we slept in cabins, and these were nice cabins with lights and toilets and showers, and they wouldn't let us bring tents! wow what ever happened to the days of spending a hours setting up a tent and then when you had go you would walk out into the trees and do your business, really.

Then they had this lake up there that you couldn't even fish in, what up with that?

and they had hiking and biking trails that you couldn't even go on... because heaven forbid we actually enjoy the out doors.

really that wasn't camping that was cabining

ya know i miss the days of running around like hooligans carving your name in to trees then pushing the tree over. i miss burning the biggest stick you can find and in turn almost burning down the forest(yeah we cant even do that any more, or maybe I've just realized just how stupid that was). i miss climbing the big rocks but some how as you get bigger the rocks get smaller

2009-09-03T14:29:00.004-06:00

This is some funny stuff... fresh from the streets of north side cali, okay so i would be a really bad gangsta, any who here it is... YO!

i know some people have seen it before but its worth watching again.

Granola Bars???

2009-09-01T12:23:00.006-06:00

okay so i was hiking up bells canyon the other day with some friend and when i got to the second falls i pulled out this baked apple chewy and ate it... and it was pretty gosh darn good.

any who... as i was eating this granola bar i looked at the rapper and saw that it was a 90 calorie bar... and the makers were all proud of the fact that it was low calorie.

but really why??? when your hiking dont you want as many calories as you can get... if they really wanted to make money they should make a high calorie bar... yeah know like one with 900 calories, now that would be cool!!!

but no that have these low calorie bars for all the people that sit around there house all day... but really how often do you see people eating granola bars at home??? oh yeah NEVER... so do they really need low calorie??? NO

its so stupid why do even the healthy food industry have to be more healthy??? Next thing you know they are going to have sugar free sugar... wait... they already do, its called splenda... and we all know that that gives you cancer.

granola bars are supposed to give you as much energy as possible not just fill you up with no energy... oh yeah and because a granola bar is going to fill you up... they weigh like half of a once

Kite Happiness

2009-08-28T14:01:00.005-06:00

to all you people who dont understand why i like flying kites so much this is why...

my brothers and i made this video a couple of years ago

Never before seen footage

2009-08-26T20:32:00.004-06:00

this is preaty funny stuff i just found this...

shoot now your all going to think im abusive but im not i promise

isnt this stuff what uncles are made for any way

Burp

2009-08-26T19:42:00.006-06:00

Wow.
so i found this movie on my computer from forever ago. that's all I'm going to say you can come up with your own opinion of it.

i want you all to comment and tell me how corny this is

SLCC

2009-08-26T19:23:00.004-06:00

wow school started today at slcc
you know its crazy one minute your crying because you peed your pants in first grade and the next moment your walking on to a college campus...
Actually you don't know how true that is for me.

you see just before I got to school i saw my first grade bully and i just knew the pain was coming again... but don't worry about me i came out alive... Man its good thing i packed a extra pair of pants today or i would have been in a lot of trouble...

um....

2009-08-24T23:01:00.002-06:00

i know food storage is a commandment and i think its for financial reason not for the end of the world, but i wasn't bashing on food storage in general i was bashing on the people that get 500 pounds of wheat without knowing how to use a wheat grinder, and the people that are getting it for the end of the world

argh... my rant on stupid people

2009-08-23T20:56:00.005-06:00

So I was at work yesterday, I work at maceys for all you people that didn't know that(im not sure why youre reading this if you didnt know that though), any who, so im at work and this lady comes up to me and ask me if we have any more of the gallon arrow head waters, that are on sale, in the back. and I say I think so how may do you need, and she says 60, so i went and checked to make her happy and guess what... we didnt... wow who would have thunk. so i told her that we didnt and she got mad at me. what up with that.

I started thinking" first off why on earth would you ever need 60 gallons of freaken water, and secondly why on earth do you think that we would have 60 gallons just kicking around."

the only reason i can think of that she would ever want that much water, is that she must be preparing for the end of the world. well lady i have news for you, when the world blows up, your basement is going with it, and all that water you save will blow up to.

and then you get the people that come in and buy 500 pounds of wheat and 800 pounds of sugar and 300 pounds of rice, for there food storage, oh yeah and then the buy a case of that really gross canned butter that lasts for like a zillion years. but what they dont realize is that there basements dont have a protective bubble on them either. and even if their 1600 pounds of food does make it through the end of the world what are they going to do with it??? i dont know about you but have you ever tried eating straight wheat...

so then they go and buy about twelve of those stupid hand crank wheat grinders because some how they are going to grow 10 extra arms to grind it all at the same time. and then they ask me how to use it and i start thinking, "first, why are you buying these stupid things without knowing how to work them and secondly, why are you asking me how to work the stupid thing im payed to stock them not know how to work them, thats great your going to trust a teenager to teach you how to save your life, but any other time you see me your fearing your life." but now they are going to grind wheat and make the gross flour mush that you use to make paper ma shay with, and they are going to eat this? oh yeah i forgot they have that gross canned butter to sweeten it up, because thats going to make it better, but no body cares to ask where the can opener is in this whole mess... i cant find the can opener when the house is still standing, good luck finding it after the house is burnt down.

yeah people are so smart. and the people buying all the wheat are the same people that buy the frozen dinner so you know they have know idea what to do with the wheat once they get it home. yeah... really though if you barely know how to put something in the microwave, why do you think you can make some great meal out of wheat without a microwave.

and then you get the old Lady's that are buying that friezed dried food storage stuff that is supposed to last for a zillion years, and they come up and ask you when it expires "first, i dont know, second, why do you care your like freaken a hundred and freaken twelve years old, you're going to be dead log before this ever expires, unless your leaving your food storage in your will for your great great great great great grand children... poor kids." and like its going to taste any worse after it expires then it already does.

then you get all the people coming in and asking you just STUPID questions like is Post raisin bran healthier then Kellogs? and they expect me to know do i look like a dietitian to you, do i go around reading every label. all i know is that they both come in a purple box and have raisin in them, personaly i would buy kellogs because they have the cute little sun thing that stairs at you while your eating. you know what you can read the stupid label better than me.

and then the stupid question... do you like Hoisin sauce??? "um... im sure it tastes great considering i know what everything tastes like." or how about the worst question EVER "do you like Banquet dinners???" what do you say to that, banquet dinners are probably the MOST HORRIBLE things you will ever taste, there is a reason they only cost a buck, but i cant say that or we loose the sale but i cant lie or they will never come back.

oh the joys of working at a grocery store.

now that i have offended all the old people out there and the people that buy all the freaken wheat im sorry i hope you still like me.

um... bye

New Blog???

2009-08-21T14:12:00.012-06:00

So I was told, a while ago, by certain of my siblings and siblings-in-laws that everyone in the family should have a blog so we could all keep up on each others life's. I was also told by multiple of my friends that I NEED a facebook for the same reason. so I decided to go with the lesser of the two evils.

I'm not really sure what I'm here to blog about really. Because isn't the whole reason of a blog so every one can ooddle over how cute your kids are when the do things that drive you insane... like pee through there diapers...

Or what about all those adorable pictures of your children feeding themselves...

And those times that you get those great pictures of grampa poking out the grandbabys eyes...

and some times a blog is there just to prove how big of a freaken geek your spouse is when he makes ice cream out of liquid nitrogen...

And since I am sooo... far from that stage of life I'm not really sure what I'm doing here.

I guess that you will all just have to ooddle over how cute I am, the only problem with that is that... well... lets face it my niece and nephews are cuter than I am... and I don't have any pictures of me... and even if I did I'm like the least photogenic person in the world, wait lets change that probably in the universe. I'm sorry there will be very little ooddling over me.

But I'm not to worried about it since any one that happens to fall upon my blog will likely never comeback... since you will either get offended that I make you feel stupid, or you will think my blog is stupid, or... and most likely... you will just think I'm stupid but what ever... so sorry in advance